How Do I Know If My Teen Needs Counseling?

Parents often wonder, “How do I know if my teen needs counseling?” It can feel as though your teen could be going through the typical challenges of just the teenage years or what if it’s just a phase?  These questions constantly plague parents.  

In this blog we will go over:

• Warning signs that your teen is struggling with their mental health
• Differentiating between teenage moodiness or if it’s more
• Problems that therapy can help with
• Knowing if it’s something you can work on with your teen or not
• Ways to bring up counseling so your teen doesn’t shut down.

As a therapist, we want you to feel empowered and knowledgeable about whether your teen needs therapy.  It can be so difficult to know who to turn to and where to go in these situations. 

Signs Your Child Needs Counseling for Mental Health Support

The biggest sign that your teen needs counseling is when you see a noticeable difference in their behavior or emotions that seem to be causing difficulty in their daily life for weeks or months. 

It’s true that every teen has their ups and downs, but when you consistently see that they are unhappy, struggling with relationships, or struggling to just function, then we would suggest that your teen start counseling services.  

Here are things parents communicate as warning signs to us: 

My teen just seems to be irritable, anxious, or sad all the time.  

It’s not just a bad day, parents communicate feeling as though they are constantly walking on thin ice with their child.  It’s likely that if your child is seeming like they are anxious, overwhelmed, or sad most of the time then there could be something deeper going on that they just don’t know how to communicate.  

They don’t seem interested in things they used to love.  

Interests change, but if your child has stopped something they used to love with little reasoning, this is often a sign that they may be going through depressive symptoms.  It could be a shift in friendships, sports, or activities, but if they give you short responses like, “I just don’t like it, or them anymore,” without further details, you may want to consider counseling services.

Your teen is withdrawing from friends and/or family. 

Teens usually move their attention from family relationships to friendships.  If your teen is outgoing and then appears to be isolating themselves from others, this would be a red flag.  If your teen is introverted, but you feel as though they rarely ever want to leave the house, this is also a red flag.  We always want to aim for balance. If you feel as though it’s really unbalanced and it’s hard to get them to change their mind then that can be where therapy for teens can help.  

There is a drop in their school performance.

If your teen has lots of missing assignments, is skipping school, or isn’t caring about their education, this may mean they need more help.  If your teen has struggled with school since they were young, then we would recommend tutoring, focusing on their strengths, prior to starting therapy, but even in these situations, there could be underlying issues that have gone missing where mental health services could help increase school performance.

You notice changes in your teen’s sleeping or eating habits.

Just like adults, mental health challenges often show up physically for teens too.  If your teen seems to be sleeping all the time or very little, having frequent nightmares, or changes with their appetite (eating more than typically seen or eating much less), it may be a sign that they are struggling with an increased amount of stress.

Your teen is taking more risky or self-destructive behavior. 

This one may be harder for parents to see as a reason to start therapy.  This may not show up consistently.  It may feel very random and yet, it leaves you uneasy as a parent.  You might think about the risky things you did as a teen as a reason to not overreact to your child’s behavior, but if your teen is driving recklessly, taking drugs or using alcohol, self-harming, giving their personal information to strangers online, or talking about wanting to disappear then it’s important that you address it right away.  These are signs that they may be trying to manage their emotions in an unhealthy way.

Your teen is constantly worried or showing signs of hopelessness.

When a teen is so anxious that it impacts every day or they are constantly expressing negative thoughts and communicating hopelessness, these could be signs of an anxiety disorder or depression.  Teen counseling can help them process their feelings so that these symptoms go away and lead to a healthier future.  

Recognizing these signs early can make a significant difference in your teen’s life. Therapy or counseling can help them gain more coping skills, increase self-esteem, and give them a safe space to share their feelings.  If you are noticing one or more of these warning signs, please take steps to support your teen by getting them into therapy!

Teenage Moodiness or a Mental Health Condition? How to Know If It’s More

What teenager isn’t mood swings, eye rolls, and the occasional attitude?  It’s easy to question if your teen is going through just a normal part of growing up.  However, there is a difference between typical teenage moodiness and signs of a deeper issue. 

Here’s how you can tell them apart:

Mood Swings vs Persistent Emotions

It’s normal for teens to have bad days where they are irritable, short, frustrated, and upset.  But if your teen’s mood shifts appear extreme, lasts for weeks instead of a few bad days, or seems to be getting worse with time, then it’s best to get support.  

Sometimes teens take their frustrations out on the ones they love the most, but you are not their emotional punching bag. Get them help so both of you can experience relief. 

Occasional Withdrawal vs. Complete Isolation

We all have been there, where we just didn’t want to go somewhere or do something. We know how it feels to want a couple of days to recharge and at this age, teens will naturally seek more independence.  But if your teen is avoiding family, stops talking to friends, refuses to participate in activities, and just spends most of their time isolated in their room, then this could be a sign of emotional distress or avoidance.  

Typical Stress vs Overwhelming Anxiety

There will be times when your teen needs extra support to help manage stress.  In these situations, you want to model problem-solving so that they learn how to navigate stressors in the future.  When it’s overwhelming anxiety, your teen may feel like a day off to catch up is the only solution. They also may experience crying spells and negative thinking that feels like a constant loop.  You will feel frustrated and confused at how this situation became such a big problem. 

It’s important to get your teen help as untreated anxiety can lead to depressive symptoms. How would you feel if things constantly felt important and yet you didn’t feel like they were solvable? 

This is why we recommend some type of support in these situations so that they can build their confidence, problem-solving skills, and feel more in control of things.

Mood changes happen, but if you notice more crying spells, an increase in emotional outbursts, an inability to cope with what appear to be small problems, frequent anger or physical aggression, or saying things like “nothing matters” then please take the steps to get your teen help. 

Problems Therapy for Teens Can Help With

Teens face a lot of challenges as they try to navigate the world around them, but also discover who they are as a person.  While some issues can be managed with family support, others may need a teen therapist.   A therapist can help your teen work through emotional, social, and behavioral changes that might be leading to mental health symptoms.  Below is a list of common issues that could benefit from counseling.

Common Issues that Teen Therapy Can Help With

Do you see things on this list that describe your teen? 

If so, it could be signs that your child needs more support than what you can provide.  Seeking help is a sign of courage and resilience.  Trying therapy can maybe either provide a space for your teen to grow and decrease these mental health concerns, or, it will spur your teen to try and make positive changes on their own. 

Can You Help Your Teen Without Mental Health Treatment?

Parents may think that the best course of action is to handle their teen’s behavior as a family.  Sometimes, this works.  Given enough time, open communication, patience, and guidance, you can help your teenager’s emotional regulation.  

Here’s how to determine if your teen’s challenges are something you can work with together or if your teenager may benefit from professional mental health care.

Signs You Can Support Your Teen at Home:

• They openly talk about their feelings, even if they are struggling.
• The problem is related to a temporary stressor, like an upcoming project or friend drama.
• Their mood and behavior improve with extra support or encouragement.
• They’re willing to try new coping skills or look for their own to implement.
• Their struggles don’t significantly interfere with daily life, school, or relationships.

Signs Your Teen Needs Professional Help:

• Your teen refuses to talk or shuts down completely when you try to offer support.
• Their emotions seem extreme, last for weeks, or are getting worse over time.
• They struggle with deep sadness, excessive worrying, or overwhelming stress.
• Their school performance, friendships, or daily habits have taken a major hit.
• You notice signs of self-harm, risky behavior, or suicidal thoughts.

 If you’ve tried to help, but feel as though the struggles continue or are escalating, reaching out to a mental health provider may be the best way to support them.  

How to Talk to Your Teen About Counseling Without Pushing Them Away

Talking to your teen about counseling can be hard.  You aren’t sure if they will be open or think that you are communicating something is “wrong” with them.  You want them to see therapy as a place to go just like you would a doctor for your physical health.  Here are some ways to help bring up this conversation so your teen feels safe and heard:

Choose the Right Time and Place

Pick a time where they feel at ease and a place they feel safe.  Parents often like bringing these types of conversations up during car rides, walk, or doing an activity that their teen enjoys.  

Avoid bringing it up in the morning or during an argument.  These tend to feel like spur of the moment comments rather than feeling as if it was brought up to be supprtive.

Focus on Their Feelings, Not Just Their Behavior

Instead of saying “You’ve been acting differently lately,” try, “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really sressed/sad/anxious. How are you feeling?” This leads to an open conversation and may lead to your teen suggesting talking to a counselor without you having to suggest it.

Normalize Mental health Treatment

Let your teen know that therapy isn’t just for people in crisis – it’s for anyone who wants to feel better, gain confidence, understand their emotions, or better handle stress.  You can say, “A lot of people talk to someone when they’re feeling overwhelmed.  It’s normal.”  

Now, most teens, will say “Well why aren’t you talking to someone then?” Gotta love teens!

I think the perfect response would be, “You know what? I have been thinking of talking to someone too.”  

This lowers their wall and makes them feel that they aren’t alone. 

Give them Some Control and Encourage them to Find the Right Therapist

Teens are more likely to be open to therapy if they feel they have a say in it.  I would even go a step further and say that teeens that make this decision are also going to have better results.  You can say, “I love you, and I want to make sure you have the support you need. If talking to someone would help then let me know. “

I also think, teens that are willing to go to therapy would benefit from choosing their therapist.  Often times parents pick, but imagine, the buy-in and progress your teen would make if they got to select their therapist?  This will lessen their anxiety, increase their desire to go, and feel more in control of their counseling journey.

Offer to Go with Them to Meet their Counselor

It can be scary to be asked to go meet a stranger and share the things you struggle with the most.  There are tons of adults who would struggle with this so it is no surprise that teens do as well.  If your teen may be struggling with the idea of starting counseling or not sure if they will be comfortable, offer to join them.

We have found that after 10-20 minutes they feel more at ease, and when we ask the teen if they are fine with the parent leaving for the second half of the session that they are more engaged and communicate even better. 

Give them Time to Think About It 

Not every teen is going to jump to come to therapy.  They may need time to consider therapy and if it’s right for them. It’s okay if they don’t say yes right away or unsure if it’s for them.  

Give them time to think about it and don’t push.  As stated before, the more they are in control of this decision then better the results will be.  

Final Thoughts: Supporting Teen Mental Health

We hope this blog helps you determine what your teen needs, what is normal for teenagers, and how to decide if professional counseling would benefit your child.  Remember to pay attention to the warning signs of mental health issues, understand the difference between normal teenage angst and deeper emotional or behavioral issues, and knowing when to see mental health experts.

If your teen is experiencing an increase in symptoms please don’t hesitate to start by offering support at home and begin to have open conversations as much as possible.  If your child is still struggling after the support you provide, then your teen may need to find a therapist.   They could do individual therapy or may benefit from family therapy, too.

Therapy isn’t about fixing your teen – it’s about giving them the necessary tools to navigate life’s ups and downs.  

No matter what, remind your teen that they aren’t alone.  Seeking help is a sign of strength and courage.  By taking this step, you’re showing your teen that their mental health matters.  If you’re ready to explore counseling options then we are here to help, but also don’t be afraid to put your child in the driver’s seat and ask if they’re willing to look for a mental health professional that they would want to see.