It’s that fabulous time of year when you’re finally out on summer break and don’t have to think about school until fall. But somehow, the fears and worries about leaving home for college begin to set in and the dread of leaving home begins to flood your mind. Homesickness and fear of missing home are normal for a lot of new high school graduates. The fear of the unknown sets in, and realizing your parents or caregiver won’t be at college with you becomes unsettling.
I remember the summer before attending my first year of college. It was super exciting to be done with high school but the idea of leaving home and my friends was on my mind quite often. I remember worrying who I was going to meet, if I would have any friends, and wondering what would I do if I missed home? Yikes! I discounted all the fun opportunities that awaited me and decided to focus on the possibility of not liking college.
Fears aren’t always realized
Fast forward to freshman year, I loved it! Yes, I did miss home, but overall I loved it. I had so many new friends, great classes, and fun things to do. I did miss home a lot but I learned ways to cope with it that helped me get past it. Some things that worked for me were to establish times to call home and share with my parents about my week. It was a special time to hear what was going on back at home, as well as to give my parents a window into my world. I also found that going on a walk or going to the gym really helped get my mind off any negative feelings.
Helpful coping tips for dealing with homesickness
- Bring pictures of home and of pets: this will help you to feel as if they are closer to you and can bring back happy memories.
- Bring some of your favorite items from your room: whether it’s that special blanket you have always had at the end of your bed or your favorite stuffed animal, bring it with you as a comforting reminder of home.
- Call home once a week: sometimes hearing about what is going on at home can make you miss it more. However, it can also be comforting to hear a parent’s or caregiver’s voice, and can help you feel more relaxed and at ease.
- Get involved: the most common thing that builds isolation and homesickness is being idle. Incorporate social gatherings or school activities into your week to connect you with others and help keep you busy having meaningful fun!
- If you do feel lonely: go to a common area where students gather, whether it is a cafe, library, quad, or even laundry room (I was there quite often). Seeing others around you can help you feel less isolated and put you more at ease.
- Stay active and rested: make sure to get plenty of rest. There are few things that make homesickness worse than being overtired and emotionally drained. Keep a healthy self-care plan and good exercise habits to stay rested and healthy.
- Talk with friends: you are probably not the only student feeling the way you do, and sharing your feelings with your friends can be validating. You never know; maybe sharing your feelings of homesickness will also help your friend feel less alone.
- Use distractions: go for a walk, watch a movie with friends, video-chat with friends from home, journal, draw, or dance in your dorm room. Keeping your mind off of how you’re feeling and doing something else can help ease those feelings of wanting to be home.
- Remind yourself of your goals: set goals for each week of things you want to accomplish and then set somewhat larger goals for each quarter or semester. Goals can help break up the time while at school and give you feelings of accomplishment.
- Remind yourself of your breaks and times you will be home. Sometimes making a countdown and fun plans for when you get home can help you feel excited and pass the time instead of just missing home.
It’s natural to miss the familiar
Everyone gets homesick. It does go away as you adjust to school. Remember why you chose the school you did and what you are working hard towards achieving. Embrace the time you have at school because it does go by fast. Let me say that again, it goes by so fast! I never believed my mom when she told me it would feel like I blinked, but five years later I could not believe how fast it went by. Enjoy it and embrace it; you will never get this time back. Make memories and carpe diem (seize the day) as my friends would say!
