Teens are the ever-growing population that many parents and teachers struggle with knowing how to help. Teens are suffering more and more from anxiety and depressive disorders than ever before. Teens frequently are uncertain how to manage and experience emotions, and deal with everyday life stressors. Resiliency is a must, and there are steps than can be taken to help your teen build this.
Steps to Build Resilient Teens
- Make connections: Encourage your teen to get involved at school or in other social settings where they can grow, give back and bounce ideas off others. Many times, teens isolate themselves in their rooms and go to technologies instead of face to face interactions.
- Help others: Encourage your teen to give back to the community. Teens who feel helpless can feel empowered by helping others. A couple of ideas to consider are donating time at a local food pantry, homeless shelter, pet shelter, or picking up trash at a local park.
- Routine: Many teens benefit from structure, but rarely keep a schedule. Helping your teen to build a routine will help them to feel more secure and in control of their time and to-do lists.
- Self-care: Encourage your teen to use proper self-care. This can be taking showers, proper hygiene, journaling, watching a movie, taking a break to relax, or going for a walk. In the hustle and bustle of their very busy schedules breaks for your teen are key to being productive and helping them to not get overwhelmed.
- Create goals: Encourage and model for your teen goal setting and goal planning. Make them simple, achievable, and not too far reaching into the future. Good goal setting outlines the goal, the steps to achieve the goal and the due date of when they would like to meet that goal.
- Positive self-view: Help your teen to see all the good things about themselves. Encourage them to use positive self-talk, affirmations, and descriptors of themselves each day. For example, every morning have them say five things they like about themselves while looking in a mirror.
- Future orient them: Give your teens things to look forward to in the upcoming future. It can be as simple as holidays, birthdays, outings, or something as big as going away to their dream college. Remind them they will not be in this place forever, and new opportunities are always around the corner.
- Self-discovery: Encourage your teen to begin developing their own value system and belief system. Help them to do this by joining activities that may be out of their comfort zones. Allow the use of art, music, or other clubs that can help them build new interests. Even if, for example, as a parent, you may find the flute, etc. annoying, it is important to support your teen’s interests as long as they are safe.
- Help them to accept change: As the old cliché goes, “Nothing in life stays the same forever.” Teens, in particular, have a tough time with this. They often feel anxious about change and find security in their pasts. Encourage them to think of positives for their futures. Often teens benefit from some kind of spirituality or religion that can help them realize the universe or God is looking out for them and has a plan for their future.
- Purpose: Encourage your teen to live with intention and purpose. Though this may be hard for some teens, it helps them to build their reasons for living. It also helps them develop what they hope to leave as their mark on their world. Encourage them to journal or make lists of their reasons for living. Help them to discover their purpose statement for their lives.
Teens Can Be Strong and Resilient
These skills take time and commitment. Often they are not mastered until early to late adulthood. The hope is that by introducing these skills to your teen early and with continuous support, they will live a life full of purpose and resilience. Consider modeling these for your teen in your home, and together having open, non-judgmental conversations about their experiences. In time your teen will see they have the power to change their own lives, and become strong, resilient teens.
